Tuesday, October 11, 2011

wow...

Ok, so I am feeling really guilty, because I jump to conclusions, and then, in typical Rebecca-style blaaaabbed all over my blog. The thing about my blogs are, they are a picture of what's going on on the inside of my head. I'm a very auditory processer... i talk and type and then i'm able to think things through and hopefully finally come to a conclusion.

In fact, when dh and I were in college, We were both on the newspaper staff, and I was the opinions editor (HAHAHA!) shocker there, huh? And Andy was the general editor of the whole paper. It frustrated me to no end that he had final say over MY articles. He'd always take the spiciest, the most verbally exquisitely precise parts OUT. That seemed ridiculous to me. But ever since then he's declared on various occasions "you need an editor" And today, sadly, is no exception.

Its really easy to compartmentalize life, there's school, internet, local friends, etc. and really, does anyone really READ my blog? (other than my 700 closest facebook friends???) I don't think so, its not a really visible one with giveaways and exciting useful articles (though I DO hope to get there someday, right now i'm mainly focused on the highlights of our school experience) but it turns out that sometimes my different life circles really DO intersect and someone who read my blog was hurt by something really insensitive that i had posted, in my own anger and frustration, and called me on it. I honestly didn't remember what I had said, having been posting a lot lately, and having been crazy crazy busy with all the changes we've been going through and piecing curricula together till our REAL curricula arrives for the boys and evaluations and stuff.

So, after my autism class today, (need to post about that!) I ran over to the school and worked some things out. In doing so, i was able to get a better picture of the situation with Annabeth, and as is almost always the case, my immediately jumped-to conclusion assumption was that any "niceness" shown to me clearly had to be a facade, and really, it was ME against THEM. Certainly its human nature to assume YOU have the best intentions and everyone else the worst, but in this case, as most, the answer was far closer to the other end than i'd expected. And so i sat down with the principal and the learning coach that Anna's been working with and they were both VERY helpful and I was able to get a more accurate picture of what is going on, and I feel really bad that feelings ended up getting hurt due to me. :( At any rate, i did NOT mean to in any way bad mouth the school my daughters attend. I LOVE their teachers and the principal and Learning coach are both very very accessible and helpful. I was also able to learn some more puzzling and frustrating things about Annabeth. And i do admit, it is REALLY helpful hearing others' input, since with your own child you get used to certain traits and characteristics and don't really think about it, if its not obvious. Like, for example, She didn't know what a CLOSET was!!! and she called a fish bowl a "fish basket" which, totally cracks me up.

So its clear to the school as well as myself that testing needs to happen soon, and it will be, so all is well, i guess. I'm still really mystified by Anna's bizzare combination of auditory and visual AND cognitive issues. Its frustrating and scary. i'm starting to wonder if a friend's suggestion that she, too, might be on the spectrum might have some merit. Ugg. God would NOT give me 4 autistic children, RIGHT??? RIGHT?? Tell me RIGHT people!! Oy... Ok, so back to my much neglected children. I just had to get that off my chest and clear the air.... Hope your homes are having less drama than mine right now :-D :-D

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